Mike Fowler's Dinner With Putin.

I think it was very interesting that Mike Fowler deicided to write this piece divided in very short scenes. Since the scenes are funny, you want to read more, and they surprise you because Putin kills his guest everytime differently. The guest is not aware of what is happening. Also, the guests' names are really curious and reveal something. Very very fun to read.

Entry # 19 Punctuation Exercise: Otto

Just forget it, my friend, forget it, and let me introduce myself first, my name is Otto Dietrich zur-Linde, and I would like to be understood; I want to tell my story so that those who come after me won’t suffer the same horrible destiny as I did, I’ll tell you what my destiny was afterwards, and yes, I already know, years will not erase every track or print of my existence, so let my case be trivial, but, till then, till then I’ll speak; yes indeed, sir, I’ve got two extreme passions, music and the metaphysics, both of which have helped me overcome tough times, of great sadness, and two great masters, Arthur Schopenhauer and Johannes Brahms, have influenced me deeply with their marvelous work since I was a little boy, a boy born in Essen, close to Dortmund and Duisburg, on August the 31st, around the year 1897, two years before Adolf was born, and incorporated to the Nationalsozialistische Deutsche Arbeiterpartei in 1929, because I believed, as all of us suffered German people believed, that this was the beginning of new times, that a new type of men was to be born, and besides, I could notice I was living during a time of big change, like the time of Jesus and the time of Mohamed, but now they are going to execute me for being a killer and torturing dozens of Jews, but it was not me who killed them, I just gave the orders to others, and I did not see a human in a Jew, but I saw all that was bad for the German people in them, and this, we all believed it, but for me it was terribly difficult because never before was I a violent man, and on the present day it is still true that I have never used or seen an execution; I do not feel guilt, and that’s why I do not seek being forgiven, but I understand that history condemns losers, and we got the loss this time, we proved the world that arrogance is the right path towards self destruction, and I do not regret anything, regretting would have no use, my friend, because I am satisfied with loss, because our loss is an end and I am tired; it satisfies me because it has occurred, because it is tied to all the facts that were, that will be, and censuring o blaspheming a single action is denying the universe, and because Adolf believed fighting for a country, but he fought for everyone, even for those he harmed, it doesn’t matter, it is not important that Adolf himself did not know this, his blood and his will knew it, what do I care if Germany was destined to be the anvil and the rest of the world be the hammer! If victory and justice and happiness was not meant to be for us, then at least let it be for other nations, let heaven exist, for Christ’s sake, even though I belong in hell, my friend, my skin and flesh may have fear, I do not.

Entry # 18 My Alarm Clock 2

Ortega is one of the best Argentine soccer players in history. Now, this story I heard about him this morning reminded me about Diego’s story. Diego Armando Maradona, to many, the best soccer player ever. As Diego’s case, many other cases began appearing in my mind. Diomedez Diaz, the great and famous Colombian popular singer who was put in jail several times. Faustino Asprilla, the famous Colombian soccer player that played for Newcastle, who had a drinking problem and got aggressive when drunk. Garrincha, the Brazilian star who died because of a putrid life he managed to have outside of the pitch. Antonio Cervantes Reyes, most popularly known as Kid Pambelé, the most famous Colombian boxer because he held the World Championship for a record amount of times. His fame led him to become a terrible drug addict and waste all of his well-earned money. Nowadays, Kid Pambelé lives in the ugliest streets of Cartagena and begs for money.
Once, I encountered Pambelé. This event occurred about three years ago. Pambelé was begging for money to every car that passed by. My brother was driving a car, and had myself as a co-pilot. My brother gave Pambelé $2,000 Colombian Pesos. Pambelé received the money and instantly dropped himself to his knees, while he shrieked a strange sound. Following that, he kissed the cars wheels and the lights. It was a horrifying scene, to observe a former Welter junior Champion of the World kissing anyone’s car for money. Pambelé was a disgusting beggar.
What would you feel if you lost everything? If you lost your friends, your family, your most precious objects, your health, your house, your money, I mean, absolutely everything? What would you feel if you had the whole world in your hands, and suddenly, you take a wrong path and you trip and fall, and the world you’ve got in your hands breaks into tiny pieces? What feeling would you get if you have just climbed to the top of the mountain, and unfortunately, you make yourself fall off right to the beginning, but this time, you’ve broke your legs, arms, back, waist, and your head while you fell? You had reached the highest point in your life where you’ve accomplished all your goals, but the next morning, you wake up, and you’re at the lowest point you’ve ever been. The lowest point any person can ever be. You’ve got nothing. The only thing you’ve got left is a horrible addiction to drugs and the memory of happy days. I imagine that feeling you get after this, would be the worst existing feeling. What would you feel if you lost everything?
I’m a fan of F. C. Barcelona, and several weeks ago, the team was playing against Real Betis. The game had the Spanish League at stake. Barcelona was winning in the first half by 0-2, but in the second half, our team through the victory away and ended up losing 3-2. I felt an enormous pain, a gigantic emptiness, an infinite frustration and will to go back in time. It’s a terrible feeling, wanting to go back in time, feeling regrets, and feeling guilty.

Entry # 17 My Alarm Clock

I woke up early, one minute before the alarm clock was set to ring. I love it when that happens, because I get to lie in bed for one more minute before getting up. That’s what I did that morning. I lied for a while, enjoying that minute as much as I could. I had my eyes closed and the sheets covered me from head to toes, waiting for the alarm to ring, but it was taking too long. This was the longest minute I had ever witnessed and I was happy about it.
Then I realized that the alarm was taking too long to ring, so I got the cell phone to see what time was it. Five minutes had gone by. My alarm clock forgot to wake me up, it didn’t ring.
I got out of bed lazily and my daily routine began. I ate breakfast, and then I took a bath. When I got out of the shower, I brushed my teeth carefully not to scratch a cut I had in my inferior gums. I got it by brushing my teeth quickly without care. Even though I tried carefully not to, I did scratch the cut a little bit with my old and cheap toothbrush.
After brushing my teeth I got dressed, picked up my backpack, and left my house yelling: “Goodbye Nurys.”
My car and my chauffer were waiting for me punctually. I realized it had been raining since the streets were wet. I got in my car after saying “Good day” to everyone in my way. Everyone greeted me gently and happily as I did.
I got in my car and set off to school. I looked at my car’s clock and realized I was already late, but, I didn’t care, it was not a big deal as to worry a lot. I just relaxed in my seat and listened to the radio.
The radio was speaking about different soccer news in the sports section. “Hugo Sanchez, Mexico’s Soccer National Team’s former coach was fired this morning because of the team’s poor performance and development during the pre-Olympics, which caused their elimination of the great games held in Beijing this year. “What a pity for Mexico this year, I thought to myself.
After that, an astonishing story made me listen carefully. It said: “Ariel, ‘el burrito’, Ortega. Was yesterday forbidden to be 100 meters near his own children after being accused by his wife of threatening and abusing his children. Apparently and unfortunately, it seems Ariel has retaken his old habit and vice, alcoholism, which causes a great sadness deeply inside, especially for River Plate fans.
I’m not a River Plate fan, but I sure am a passionate soccer fan, so, I did feel pretty sad because of the news. Ariel Ortega is a great soccer player with enormous skill and beautiful faints. It’s a pleasure to watch him play. He’s got a distinct flair, which makes people who enjoy soccer, like I do, be an Ariel Ortega fan.

The New Yorker: The Insufferable Gaucho

I read 3 pages of The Insufferable Gaucho, which I enjoyed. I could feel the exactitude on Roberto's writing. How he described the entire country and its people with exact adjectives, and also, exact actions. He uses exact names for streets, cities, which aksi makes the story realistic. The food, the customs, the dances, etc. The story was also very fluent and understandable.

Entry # 16 Semana Santa

What did I not do in Semana Santa? For sure, one thing I didn’t do, and I really missed it, was my exercise routine given by my soccer coach. I did perform it on Thursday, but I didn’t do it on Friday, Saturday, or Sunday. Why? Because I preferred drinking. No, not drinking alcohol like most people do, but drinking a medicine to avoid and stop an allergic reaction I was having. This medicine accelerated my heart rate, and my mother suggested it would be dangerous and irresponsible to perform exercise with an accelerated heart.
Drinking that medicine was not the reason for not going out partying and drinking alcohol. I do not drink alcohol, neither on Semana Santa, Halloween, my birthday, my dad’s birthday, New Year’s Eve, nor Christmas. In fact, I don’t drink alcohol whatever the circumstances are, and I don’t think I was ready to have my first drinking experience while I was taking that medicine this Semana Santa. That would’ve been completely and fully absurd.
What did I not do? I didn’t stay in Bogotá, but I didn’t leave Colombia. I didn’t go to the prairies nor traveled by bus or car. I went to Cartagena, but I didn’t go to the beach, or the pool. I didn’t get a sun tan or sunburn. I didn’t go out shopping. I didn’t buy a thing. I didn’t buy new pants, jeans, shirts, shoes, socks, underwear, caps, hats, scarves, jackets, glasses, bracelets, necklaces, or rings.
I did not have a bad time. I did not get bored at times, even though I didn’t go to the movies to watch Batman, Superman, Finding Nemo, The Departed, The Matrix, 60 Seconds, Shrek, Shrek 2, Shrek 3, The Beauty and the Beast, El Cantante or X-Men. In fact, I think I did not go to the movies to watch X-Men 2 neither.
I didn’t go to church, as you might have already noticed. I didn’t feel healthy the entire week, but I didn’t get sick either. I did get sick, when I came back to Bogotá, but it was not on Semana Santa. Well, those are several things I didn’t do, but, if you ask me: ‘Did you not visit your family?’ I’d have to answer ‘No’ because negative times negative, equals a positive.
That basically means I did visit my family. I visited my grandparents, both maternal and paternal; I visited my aunts and uncles, both maternal and paternal, and my cousins. I attended many different family dinners, and lunches, which I really enjoyed. I enjoyed the food, which was delicious, and I really missed from the time I lived in Cartagena. We had a huge barbeque with potatoes and a pie of corn, which were both outstanding. But the food was not what I enjoyed the most; it was the people around me, my family which gave me the greatest pleasure. I sat and listed my maternal grandfather’s stories and had lots of fun.