Entry # 2 Carol

My maternal grandfather is one of the funniest guys I have ever met, but he has a very strange sense of humor. My mother, Ruby, calls it “Black Humor”. My grandfather, Carol, has the most the most evil and perverted minds, and it is totally humorous to see the odd and unique way he reacts to certain events. Sometimes, he has a strange resemblance with the Grinch, both physically and mentally.
Carol is about 1.90 meters in high and is a bit skinny. He has enormous, ugly, and delicate feet, which makes finding shoes a tough job. Day after day he complains about how shoes are not comfortable for him, how he has tried tons of different soles and none of them work. His face. We could make a whole book about my grandfather’s face. Carol is famous for being the most handsome man ever when he was young. His friends tell his grandsons stories about how his beauty caused “traffic jams” as he crossed the street since cars had to stop to look at him. How Carol made any woman fall in love with him.
This causes Carol to believe he is a type of God, he believes there is no one as beautiful as him. He always judges people according to whether they are pretty or if they aren’t. Carol is now old, has white hair, and his face looks old and wrinkled. He hates looking old. He can’t stand looking at himself in a mirror or when he sees a recent picture of himself. “Damn it! Take that camera out of here! If you take a picture of me, can’t you see people will say: ‘Oh, look at that ugly old man.’?” He does not like people taking pictures of him.He curses being old. He hates it. He hates ugly people and ugly people, what he is now, old and ugly. He is obsessed with beauty. One day, we were at a huge family reunion dinner. We were celebrating my cousin’s graduation from school. My cousin’s name is Gerardo Rumié. People were dancing, drinking, talking, and singing. Most of the guests that greeted Carol, congratulated him for how pretty my mother is. “Oh Carol! Ruby is so pretty.” That made my grandfather enormously proud. Some of them said Ruby; my mother looked like her own mother. Carol would say: “No no no, she doesn’t look like Lourdes, it is impossible. Lourdes had nothing to do with Ruby, Ruby’s genes were all inherited from me. Ruby is my daughter, not her mother’s. I was the one who got pregnant, gave birth to her, everything! I remember going to the doctor because I was feeling nauseas. When the doctor checked me, he was impressed with what he found. I was pregnant by myself. ‘Yes, Dr. Rumié, you got yourself pregnant. You will have a little baby around September.’ I couldn’t believe Dr. Escobar’s words, but indeed, they were true. That is why Ruby is so pretty, she’s all me! If she had one of Lourdes’ genes, she would be uglier.”